Pediatrician Paranoia

Pediatricians can become Enemy No. 1 to their young patients, as well as to parents.

Safeguard protocols must be in place when children seem to be victims of abuse. When I was growing up, many pediatricians never asked us young patients if there was abuse at home. I believe that, unfortunately, much abuse therefore went undetected.

However, now the pendulum has swung to the opposite side. In my experience, today’s pediatricians seem paranoid that all their young patients are being abused in some fashion. And such paranoia makes such doctors unethical.

When I adopted my 13-month-old daughter, the first thing I did was take her to a pediatrician with a stellar reputation. A first-time parent, I asked many questions, including what type of thermometer was the most accurate. “All of the thermometers you buy at the store are not accurate,” she said matter of factly. Understandably, my next question was, “How can I know, then, if she has a fever?” And she said, “You just have to play it by ear.”

I got to play it by ear when my daughter was about three years old and happened to get quite ill. Because I didn’t know which thermometer was giving me accurate information, I felt her burning forehead. I was scared and promptly took her to the ER, where personnel ran a host of tests, and luckily, she returned home with medication. They told me to follow up in a couple of days with my daughter’s pediatrician.

The follow-up appointment is where the pediatrician’s abuse started. She was angry that I took my daughter to the ER. Here I was, a worried first-time mom, trying my best to take care of my daughter, and all I got from the doctor was sass.

“What was your daughter’s temperature that night,” the doctor interrogated me.

“I got different readings from different thermometers, so I felt her forehead, and it was hot. I knew she had a fever,” I replied.

“Well, there’s nothing scientific about feeling a child’s forehead to assess a fever,” she replied.

“You told me there was no effective thermometer,” I said.

“I never told you that!”

Then she started yelling at me for making an “inadequate” decision in taking my daughter to the ER that night. My daughter started crying. I don’t remember everything else the pediatrician said, but her verbal abuse was detrimental to my daughter and made me feel like an inadequate mother.

I understandably fired this doctor, and tried another in the same practice, who seemed so wonderful – until my daughter turned around six. That’s when the doctor started accusing me of not feeding my daughter properly because she refused to eat certain foods. The pediatrician started screaming at me in front of my horrified daughter, who promptly started sobbing uncontrollably.

Not only did I decide to fire this doctor, I fired this pediatric practice. After a careful search, I found a seemingly great, non-judgmental pediatrician at another practice who seemed willing to collaborate well with me as a parent. Starting when my daughter turned around nine, during every exam, the physician asked me to leave the room so she could talk with my daughter alone. I cooperated and complied each time, figuring this was the protocol to ensure that parents were properly taking care of their children. This insidious practice became a ritual for every single exam.

Years passed. This year, my then-17-year-old daughter fell ill. I told her I’d make an appointment with her pediatrician, and she desperately begged me not to. I told her she was sick and needed a doctor, and she said that if she sees her pediatrician, the authorities would take her away from me.

Stunned, I asked her how she got this idea, and then the truth came pouring out. My daughter said that whenever I left the room so she and the pediatrician could chat, the physician asked whether I verbally and/or physically abused her, and whether she was scared of me.

My daughter begged me to take her to the local Immediate Care office instead, which I did. She got excellent care there, and I was not asked to leave the room.

Now that my daughter is 18, she needs to set up an appointment with a primary care physician for adults. And she is understandably scared shitless of doctors. She doesn’t want to set up a wellness visit, and since she’s an adult, I cannot make her do this, though I encourage her.

Parenting is a tough job, and most parents try to do their best to help their children. But doctors who just look at the parent through the lens of abuse are detrimental and have no business practicing medicine.

Now that I got this off my chest, let’s talk about something way more calming than abusive doctors – art. This week, I attempted to create the same Arizonascape I did in oils awhile back. But this time I created it in watercolors:

I tried really hard to capture some texture in the mountain. The sky could be better, but I’ll keep working with watercolors; I refuse to give up. The grass was an experiment done by a smaller version of the brush below.

This was the oil painted Arizonascape from awhile back. While I’m having a good time with watercolors, I really want them to have an improved vibrancy. I will be going through another pass of the watercolor version next week, using less diluted colors to put some more vibrancy into the painting.